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Falling down

I have become depressed and panicky.  I barely know the person I am anymore.  I am obsessed with my frustrations with Scott being manipulative.  I got in trouble at work because I was bringing up too much of my personal life.  We went to counseling today. The counselor identified problems I need to work on are alcohol use and use of social media.  I had the Adi and Jaden write some letters about the things they want him to work on.  Jaden said his temper, his smoking, and not dressing up like a girl.  Adi said he needs to work on his temper and that he doesn't really listen.  The counselor said maybe the kids need to go to therapy.  I have noticed Jaden has been acting angry lately and Adi mostly stays in her room.  Scott doesn't want to go to counseling.  He tried to get out of going today, but I threatened him that I'll divorce him if he doesn't show up.  Then he didn't want to go back.  He said he can't afford it....
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Questions to Assess Ego Functioning

How do you deal with strong feelings? I get quiet.  Initially, I may yell but then I won't talk.  I want to get away and sometimes I leave the situation.  Rarely, I will cry. How would you describe yourself? energetic, fast paced, overachiever, talkative, outgoing, extroverted, expressive, kind, witty, confident, intelligent, critical What kind of person is your mother? complains often, sensitive (cries easily), giving, likes traditions, family oriented Describe your most important relationships. Scott (husband): I'm often frustrated with him. He doesn't help me around the house.  He is very impulsive.  He is absorbed with his own wants and needs and doesn't think of mine.  He is very needy of my time and affection.  He wants sex often when it is inconvenient for me.  He doesn't think through the things he says.  He does things to annoy or anger others purposely.  He is very self absorbed and narcissistic. Karenna (daughter):...
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The Work

I just finished 2 Byron Katie books and "The Power of Now."  They worked well together.  A client suggested them to me and reading them changed my life forever.  I am now meditating each morning and I actually enjoy it.  I can see the good and bad of everything and every situation.  I can choose the good because love is my true nature.  I really need to go back through every post I made before this and find statements on which to do inquiry.  I need to find any sticking points that are blocking my happiness and pouring out love. One way I was able to pour out love was to take Scott's dressing up as a sign that he needs more love.  I cradled him in my arms last night, kissing his head and stroking his hair.  I didn't do it with the intention of getting him to change, but he did take off the clothes he was wearing while dressed up as Serena.  I would have been happy either way.  I love him as I love myself.  He is myself and so...
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